Tackling Impatience (1)
It's been quite a while. I thought, maybe, I only resort to writing when my thoughts have become too overwhelmed. It almost means as if in the past 2 years I have not overthought for a single moment but it's not true...
Many things have changed in my life. I counted the years and the course of events that ran from June till now and the number of people living with me has decreased to none, except for the cat. Maybe he can be counted as a tenth of a human? I don't know.
In the most recent months, I have realized a tragic flaw of myself, one that makes every thing a little harder to bear and myself more reckless in action: Impatience.
2 nights ago, I cried to my Mom and then to my boyfriend while telling them how useless I feel I am and that I have accomplished nothing, perhaps, I have only come here to struggle. People keep telling me to try harder and to not give up. But sometimes, I just don't want to try anymore. The only thing I feel like doing has been giving up from times to times.
My boyfriend told me to stop being too hard on myself, to relax and know that I am doing my best. He pointed out that the the reason why I am so stressed out about "accomplishing something" is that I am way too impatient. I set too big expectations then when I cannot attain them after a set period of time, I become frustrated and impatient. He told me that I should tackle things one at a time and there is no use overthinking a problem. It only makes my anxiety worse to keep thinking about an unsolved issue. So, be more patient and work things out slowly. It will all be okay eventually.
My Mom has said the same thing. In the end, all problems will be solved. I just need to be more patient and tread the water lightly. Don't rush anything.
So, I've been reading everywhere on how to be more patient. I think writing on the blog again will help as it provides an outlet for my anxiety and a safe work space to display my thoughts and work on the logic of them. I'm thinking of writing about how many times I feel impatient per day and the reason and what to do about them. Maybe every 2 week, I will have a self-evaluation to see how I am doing and take corrective actions onward.
First goal of the rest of this week: wait for the heaters to be fixed this Saturday without getting annoyed at them for making too much noise. Will write on the process tomorrow.
Many things have changed in my life. I counted the years and the course of events that ran from June till now and the number of people living with me has decreased to none, except for the cat. Maybe he can be counted as a tenth of a human? I don't know.
In the most recent months, I have realized a tragic flaw of myself, one that makes every thing a little harder to bear and myself more reckless in action: Impatience.
2 nights ago, I cried to my Mom and then to my boyfriend while telling them how useless I feel I am and that I have accomplished nothing, perhaps, I have only come here to struggle. People keep telling me to try harder and to not give up. But sometimes, I just don't want to try anymore. The only thing I feel like doing has been giving up from times to times.
My boyfriend told me to stop being too hard on myself, to relax and know that I am doing my best. He pointed out that the the reason why I am so stressed out about "accomplishing something" is that I am way too impatient. I set too big expectations then when I cannot attain them after a set period of time, I become frustrated and impatient. He told me that I should tackle things one at a time and there is no use overthinking a problem. It only makes my anxiety worse to keep thinking about an unsolved issue. So, be more patient and work things out slowly. It will all be okay eventually.
My Mom has said the same thing. In the end, all problems will be solved. I just need to be more patient and tread the water lightly. Don't rush anything.
So, I've been reading everywhere on how to be more patient. I think writing on the blog again will help as it provides an outlet for my anxiety and a safe work space to display my thoughts and work on the logic of them. I'm thinking of writing about how many times I feel impatient per day and the reason and what to do about them. Maybe every 2 week, I will have a self-evaluation to see how I am doing and take corrective actions onward.
First goal of the rest of this week: wait for the heaters to be fixed this Saturday without getting annoyed at them for making too much noise. Will write on the process tomorrow.
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